February 25, 2008

• Pray for me

  I'm going to see my Nanna today.  I haven't seen her since december of 2005 .... she said something that really hurt me....of course I'm sure she's oblivious to her words.

   

  You see I was in the first phase of a south beach type diet.  In the book and from many others with what I have there are ladies who were unable to conceive and they did the low carb thing for 3 months and foudn themselves pregnant.  I have a condition that is due to insulin irregularities and each time I've tried to eat low carb, even if I cheated, I still had a cycle.  ((tmi?  too bad this is my journal)) 

   

  anywho so there I was on my second week of phase I and my Nanna is telling me to basically throw in the towel because G-D blesses whom HE wants to and she's referring to my heathen cousins who were both pregnant at the time, one with her 5th child and the other with her 3rd child and all this in  4 years. 

  I didn't understand my Nanna's logic,  I mean I know HE is no respector of persons but to make it sound like those who want nothing to do with HIM are being blessed/rewarded with children while I the one who worships at HIS feet die a little each time I hear about another pregnancy/newborn .... that didn't make sense to me.

  So I haven't seen her since. 

  Today if she talks about my cousins and their brood I'm going to try and politely tell her that I don't want to know.

  In fact since we only share the same bio-grandma and not grandpa, they aren't even on my family tree I'm working on.  The site I'm using doesn't show things like divorces/deaths and remarriages so it's a moot point.

  I mean I am her first grand-daughter and I gave her the first great grandson so you'd think she could pray for me or encourage me to pursue what ever avenue YHWH shows me regarding the be fruitful and multiply command instead of discouraging and frustrating me.

  • 9:35 am
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